There is no better fb2 negotiation strategy. Jim Camp No. The best negotiation strategy. Introduction The best word in English

A unique system for preparing and conducting tough negotiations from Jim Camp, author of the bestselling book “First Say No”, with the help of which transactions are concluded annually, totaling more than 100 billion dollars.If your client, threatening to break off relations, forces you to give him another discount, and you are afraid to refuse and lose him, then Jim Camp has another, more effective method Negotiation: Just say NO.

This short word is the most effective tool in the arsenal of negotiation techniques that allows you to stop fruitless discussions, discard false assumptions and avoid unnecessary compromises. After reading this book, you will master a unique system for preparing, planning and conducting tough negotiations. You will learn:

. how to stop depending on the outcome of negotiations, which you cannot control, and concentrate on what you can control - on your own behavior;
. what and how to say at the negotiating table: how to lead the opponent with the right questions;
. how to counter a strong adversary who uses pressure and manipulation.

Jim Camp has taught the art of negotiation to over 50,000 people; Every year, he participates in hundreds of negotiations, in which transactions totaling more than $100 billion are concluded using his system.

book characteristics

Date of writing: 2007
Transfer date: 2008
Name: "No". Best Strategy negotiating

Date of writing: 2007
Volume: 300 pages, 2 illustrations
ISBN: 978-5-98124-324-0
Copyright holder: Kind book

Foreword to No is the Best Negotiation Strategy

The best word in English language should be "yes" - "yes". You are giving pleasure to another person. You grant the request. You complete the task, close the deal. Everyone is happy, champagne corks are flying into the ceiling. Accordingly, the word "no" - "no" should be the worst. It irons against the wool. It implies renunciation and intransigence. It terminates negotiations in the heat of the moment. This is a professional killer.

This is how the whole world, built on compromises and assumptions, thinks. In fact, this way of thinking needs to be radically changed. In a negotiation process, the worst word is "yes". It betrays the fear of defeat, the fear of missing out on a deal, forcing you to please your opponent, get ahead of yourself, instantly agree to concessions, strive to get a deal at any cost. The best the word in this situation is "no". That is what you must be ready to pronounce and hear."No" provides freedom and protection.

* * *

To understand the power of the word “no,” you must understand that “no” overrides the “give in and guess” paradigm that dominates negotiation today. If this made you wince (after all, who doesn't want to be on the "road to compliance"), read at least a few more pages. The "no" system is not a way of total denial. It gives rise to a completely different negotiation paradigm that gives your life and work a sense of common sense, brings an intellectual component.

If you're a fan of forced compromise and endless guessing, many business people (myself included) will be happy to invite you to lunch every day. All of them have strategies developed at the highest level, sole purpose which is the use of the weak points of your thinking, i.e. constant readiness for compromise and assumptions. I want you to know that with these tactics and strategies, they achieve their goal without difficulty, mincing their negotiating opponents and their businesses daily. Think of Steve and Dumont. I want to get you to switch roles with these people. The "no" system will give you a decisive advantage over Steve's tactics and any other negotiation strategies. In the book I bring real stories of my clients who have used my system and have had tremendous success. You will learn first-hand about the colossal daily effect of the word “no”.

For a change, I sometimes explain my “no” system by using the example of my granddaughter, Lily, negotiating with her mother every night about going to bed. I witnessed how a three-year-old girl said “no” to her mother five times in a row and as a result got what she wanted. Of course, Lily was not afraid to say or hear "no", she just continued the negotiation process. Persistence is very important to the success of denial.

If you have children, you know that every child hears "no" at the beginning. but not in end of negotiations. An adult is trained and educated to be afraid of this word, therefore, working with clients and audiences, I have to gradually and carefully prove that in practice a polite “no”, spoken, calmly listened to, and also provocative, has great importance in the process of negotiations. In fact, if you encourage the other side to say “no”, you can destroy any barriers and establish a mutually beneficial dialogue. By allowing someone to say “no”, we let off steam, reduce the intensity of emotions. But since we are talking about children, let's assume that you are a parent and you were called to school to report your child's lack of self-control and respect for elders. Thunderclouds are gathering, the conversation promises to be heavy. You have already spoken to Johnny and come up with a plan to solve the problem and help the boy get on the right track. You came to school hoping for the teacher's sympathy. This negotiation is simple and straight forward, so you need to start the conversation by saying that you have your own plan of action, but you do not mind if the teacher does not agree with some of your considerations. You want the teacher to be able to say “no” easily. The best thing to do at the first opportunity is to explain: “Mrs. Jones, I have noticed that Johnny has become restless, so I have made a plan to overcome the problems that his behavior may create. If you disagree with me on something, I will be happy to hear your objections and ideas. So I'm of the opinion that…”

This explicit request to object and disagree allows the teacher to relax, feel more natural and, if necessary, present you with a real picture of what is happening. But you must make such a suggestion consciously and informally, as it is likely that you do not know at all what is really going on in school.

If you are a teacher, you can start the conversation like this: “Mr. Smith, I don't know you very well personally. But I know Johnny. He is a good boy, but some of his actions make me puzzled. May I ask a few questions about this? Please correct me if I'm wrong." This is a somewhat more veiled invitation to say no, but the teacher should also be honest about it. For a parent and a teacher, a simple “no” can be a liberation. Barriers immediately disappear, allowing you to join forces to solve the problem.

But back to business. Let's say your company is bogged down in a bonded contract that you've been dragged into by a negotiator who hasn't worked for you in a while. Under this contract, you lose money on every delivery. Something has to be sacrificed. A likely strategy is to call "the very top" of the partner company and frankly say: "We made a huge mistake in those negotiations. You probably already knew that then. I understood only now. We cannot continue to work under the same conditions. How can we resolve this situation? When can we meet to discuss everything?”

Many will be embarrassed to make such a call, some will be amazed at the idea, but in fact this is the safest thing to do in a situation like this. This is just an honest statement of fact. We can't go any further down the ruinous road that former employee but we can fix the problem. Let's discuss this. And you know what? The partner company will be happy to meet you halfway. Why? The most effective solution on their part is to keep you as a partner.

I emphasize the possibilities of the word "no" to draw your attention to the fact that effective negotiations is, first of all, making effective decisions."No" defines new look thoughts that generates such decisions in any negotiations. Armed with this principle, you'll be prepared to both talk to your teacher and discuss the supplies you're losing money on.

I want you to understand right away that “no” has nothing to do with intransigence. Quite the opposite. Everything is based on openness and honesty. An invitation to say “no” demonstrates to those sitting at the negotiating table that there are adults here who can think rationally. Let's slow down the process a bit. Let's get rid of the fear of failure. "No" allows all participants to forget about the need to always be right, the smartest, the strongest, the most determined. This word protects you from hasty and, even worse, bad decisions taken out of a desire to feel safe and to be liked by the other party. The word "no" tells everyone involved: let's leave the way of thinking based on consent; relax, I'm not going to rob you, and you're not going to rob me.

If you find it hard to believe that the "no" system breaks down barriers and lowers your emotional level, do me a favor and check it out for yourself. Lay this page down and don't read any further until you get or create the ability to put "no" to the simplest test - at home, in the office, at school, in church, anywhere. Someone will ask you to do something or agree on something, or you yourself will ask someone to do something or agree to something with you. Create the most innocuous everyday situation, for example, in a behind-the-scenes conversation with a colleague: “Oh, Jane, I can’t do it, tell me…” or “Jane, if you don’t like my proposal, just say no. I will not be offended. Truth. I can handle myself. Just say no."

you immediately feel result. Such a polite "no" cannot offend a person. On the contrary, it relieves embarrassment. It suggests adult behavior (even on the part of children). It opens the way to effective solutions. After so many years of teaching clients all sorts of negotiation strategies, I never cease to be amazed at the almost magical power of the word “no.” The word you've been taught to fear can change your negotiation practice forever.

"No" requires a single and unbreakable purpose and mission. This is a common idea in the business world, but in the “no” system, purpose and mission take on a different meaning. They are not about you, but about him- the other side.

In addition, the no system makes you aware of the dangers of feeling needy. In other words, you not you need this bargain, because the thought of having to get something invariably leads to a wasted concession. “No” can change you overnight for the better as a negotiator.

What do you like more: effective decisions or seething emotions, the right questions or vague assumptions and expectations, focusing on controlled actions or chasing unpredictable results?

Getting what you want is as easy as saying no.

"No". Best Negotiation Strategy - Jim Camp (download)

(introductory fragment of the book)

If your client threatens to break off the relationship and forces you to give him another discount, and you are afraid to refuse and lose him, then Jim Camp has another, more effective way of negotiating for you: Just say "NO". This short word is the most effective negotiation tool in the arsenal to cut off fruitless discussions, discard false assumptions, and avoid unnecessary compromises. After reading this book, you will master a unique system for preparing, planning and conducting tough negotiations. You will learn: ● how to stop depending on the outcome of negotiations, which you cannot control, and focus on what you can control - on your own behavior; ● what and how to say at the negotiating table: how to lead the opponent with the right questions; ● how to counter a strong opponent using pressure and manipulation. Jim Camp has taught the art of negotiation to over 50,000 people; Every year, he participates in hundreds of negotiations, in which transactions totaling more than $100 billion are concluded using his system.

* * *

The following excerpt from the book "No". Best Negotiation Strategy (Jim Camp, 2007) provided by our book partner - the company LitRes.

Stop the ride - I'll get off!

Managing turmoil

Before making a decision, you are overwhelmed with emotions. When a decision is made, you try to give it a rationale. If you look closely at yourself and others, you can easily notice the transition from one internal state to another - from the emotional stage to the decision-making stage. Every day, every hour, even every minute under certain circumstances, you rush about, doubting and pondering. I want to change jobs. And I will do it, despite the fact that I am not bad here. Dad says don't do it. I know it's probably not necessary. But that's what I want. Each of us has experienced something similar. I want to buy this car. I know now is not the time. But I want. Like a pendulum, on important and unimportant issues. Sometimes such fluctuations are noticeable to everyone. Sometimes mental turmoil is completely hidden. But they are there anyway.

Successful negotiation of any kind requires an understanding of this fact and the ability to use it. As I mentioned in the introduction, your first priority in negotiating—in the office, at home, in the family, anywhere—is to replace the principle of compromise and fear with the principle of decision making. You must learn to move from blind and unpredictable feelings, which never lead to agreement, to carefully considered decisions, on the basis of which a contract is concluded as a result. Most negotiators are drowning in their emotions. Moreover, they cannot overcome the feelings that overwhelm the other side. You must see emotions both parties as they are, and work with them, not against them. Once you learn this, you will be in control of the process and outperform 99% of your negotiators. But getting out of the emotional space is very difficult, especially because of one feeling that often dominates negotiations - the feeling of need.

Appendix #1 Feeling Necessary

Why are the eyes of many animals, such as the grizzly bear, polar bear, wolverine, located in front of the head and look forward? Because these animals predators and always look out for prey ahead of them. They don't need to look back or around. They are focused on prey because that is how they survive. And why are our eyes also located in front of the head and look forward? Because we are predators too. It is always pleasant to watch children playing, but at the same time it is instructive, because every parent knows that along with friendship and childish immediacy, one can also see here the struggle for superiority, the desire to outplay others, to intimidate rivals - all this is already manifested in early age. Some of us have these instincts for life, which is well known to people who frequent nursing homes. (You've probably seen the commercial where grandparents non-stop pass photos of their grandchildren around each other, trying to outdo each other. The skit is staged to cause laughter, but it says a lot about human nature.)

Our aggressive and predatory nature is a bitter truth about a person that you don’t want to hear. Humans are sometimes capable of amazing altruism, but in the world of business and negotiation, there is little room for altruism - don't be fooled by the polite chatter of sly businessmen.

When negotiating, you have to deal with very large predators that instantly pick up the slightest sign of your concern or that you need a deal. Wolf laws are too soft a description of aggression that can be encountered in negotiations. Professional negotiators pounce on any sign of weakness. Every time you leave a long message on your answering machine, you put yourself in a vulnerable position. Why? You show anxiety, and therefore it becomes clear that you are afraid of missing an important call. Giving too detailed an answer to question asked, you also unwittingly betray your interest, need and, therefore, vulnerability. By setting a price and quickly agreeing to lower it, you demonstrate that you are in need and weaken your position. The same thing happens if you lower the price without any request from the other side. In addition, in this way you help to strengthen your own wrong attitudes.

Many negotiators deliberately create a situation in which you are forced to show that you need something. They specifically raise your hopes and expectations. Before your eyes, they build castles in the air - they promise huge annual commissions and career growth- all this in order to convince you: you are in dire need of this magnificence. Then, when you're convinced that the deal is necessary, they start suggesting changes, exceptions, and a huge bunch of other "buts". Why not? They won.

This is far from all that can be said about need, but it is worth discussing about it. The problem is, we very rarely stop to think about it. Many highly trained negotiators trained in the best educational institutions never even thought about the problem of want itself, nor about how to solve it. I know this well, because I taught in such institutions. Students immediately understand what I'm talking about (and who doesn't?), but they don't understand what the true role of the need for negotiations is. Naturally, most people during the negotiations, which they conduct in one form or another on a daily basis, do not attach importance to this aspect. But you must do it. If you make a mistake and find yourself in the position of a needy party, you are in danger and your negotiations are with you.

To you not need this deal

Today, in our prosperous society, not many will find a reason for something strongly need, however, we manage to be deceived and program ourselves with settings like: “I need this leather jacket" or "I need this Maserati”, or “I need make this call" or "I need talk to you" or "I need this opportunity" or "I need this deal" or "I need to meet with her". We use the word "should" too casually.

Are you negotiating the purchase of a new home? Do you really like him and needed? He himself and everything around him is great: the neighborhood, the school, the size, the color, the decoration, the garage, the children's room? Should you receive it? Are you sure about this? First, do you really need it? It's not your family, it's not your career. It's just a shelter with four (or more) walls and a roof. There are others besides him. Secondly, who told you that the seller is less interested in this deal than you? Manage your own interests. If you decide to pay $100,000 on top while looking at houses, at least you'll know what you're doing and why. (In auctions, no doubt, the interests of the struggling buyers are controlled from the outside. Be careful!)

You really need the basic ingredients of physical survival - air, water, food, clothing, shelter. Every reader of this book already has it all. To live a fulfilling life, you also need the essential elements of intellectual and emotional well-being: love, family, friendship, fulfilling work, hobbies, faith. Everyone has their own list. But this basic list, and it doesn't (or shouldn't) include $500 jackets or $100,000 cars because there are other jackets and cars. This list should also not include this particular work, deal, agreement, because there are other works, deals and agreements.

To you not need this deal. However, the need is everywhere. Sometimes it's obvious and easy to spot, but it's not always the case.


Test Drive Take 10 minutes at the end of the day to evaluate your actions and thoughts. Try to identify signs of need in them. No one knows better than you when it leaks out. An impartial analysis will easily reveal it. Maybe you were too wordy in negotiations or interviews, just to produce good impression? Check it out.

Did you leave an overly verbose message on your answering machine? Note.

Have you asked yourself directly: “Do I need this or that?” Note.

Are you too excited at the thought of success, big or small, and start fantasizing? Note.

After completing the list, consider true the motivation for each item is not obvious, not logically justified, but true. Analyze if you find signs that you really need.


This list could be endless. Passion for the perfect home? But this is just a subtle sign of how much we need to demonstrate our financial success to the world, right? Arguing grandparents exchanging photos of their grandchildren in a commercial? And this picture is a testament to how we need to look like the best parents, whose successful children, in turn, raise such amazing children.

This is how we are, how we behave in everyday life, so what? But negotiations are a completely different matter. In negotiations, our displays of interest are killing us. The situation is being used by those who understand this and are able to see any signs that indicate that we need to make the deal happen.


Test Drive Once you've identified the signs of how we're interested in anything, look around and try to spot similar signs in those around you: someone talks too much to please you, someone needs to be right all the time, someone strives win at all costs, someone just needs to remain in the spotlight. If you look closely, you will definitely find these signs.

Very often we show our interest without even noticing it. For example, in such a simple matter as a greeting.

"Hi, my name is Betty Jones."

"Hello Miss Jones."

Obvious subservience can immediately put you at a disadvantage in important negotiations. By your greeting, you acknowledge that Ms. Jones is the main boss in this room. And now she knows it. You can be taken with bare hands. Better just call her Betty.

Or request a meeting:

« Miss Smith, my name is Bob Harris. I work for First Advantage Venture Fund. Could you give me 10 minutes? I will tell you about the prospects of our cooperation».

Remember that the needy party may not only be a start-up company. Some newcomers are well funded and very selective about the investor they bring in. It happens that it is investors like this Bob Harris who are in need, to a certain extent. begging meeting. It makes a bad first impression. Bob should have said something like this: “Hi Jill, my name is Bob Harris. Not sure if our venture fund suits your goals. I do not know this. I would like to meet with you to discuss the scope of your company and our foundation and find common ground. When is the best time to do this?"

There is no need for such a message. This is a quiet offer, to which, if there is no need to attract new investors, Jill can answer: “No, thanks.”

Now let's say you're negotiating your first job. This is a very serious matter. (I know from my own experience. Right now, as I am writing this paragraph, my daughter Christy is starting to look for her first job. And I remember similar periods in the lives of other children. I remember my first experience as well. This is a very important question. And this, first of all , negotiation.) The college gave you a loan, the first installment of which you must make in six months. You want to prove your worth to your parents, family and, of course, to yourself. You are about to interview for a great job in a great city. You lost your peace and sleep, dreaming about this brilliant opportunity. You are filled with delight. You look forward to the interview and immediately agree to the date offered to you. You spend hours rehearsing a story about how valuable you can be to this organization. At the interview, you sit on the edge of your chair, speak quickly, answer without listening to the question.

- Harold, tell me, are you in college ...

- I really loved college, I was fond of accounting and finance, proved to be very capable in these areas, I liked my teachers.

- Tell me about...

I like your company and the way you work. I'm sure I'm perfect for you. I grew up in the neighborhood so I know a lot about you and your clients. I watched all the changes. It's just amazing how much you've achieved.

- And what do you ...

– I am very good at communicating with people, I know how to listen, to focus on the issue under discussion.

- And how much ...

– I have already done a third of the work for the MBA and I plan to complete it by combining work and study.

What's going on here? Harold's desire to get this job, the need for it, kills his ability to think and deprives him of the slightest chance. He doesn't think about the company's problems, not even why the company called him in for an interview. He shouts the word "need" in such a way that it hardly makes a good impression. Think about it. Imagine that you invited this young man for an interview, and he only talks about how smart he is, what his plans are and how he is better than others. Can he be hired? If we agree on this, then you will certainly prefer a candidate who is interested in your company and the opportunities that are opening up. You need a calm, reserved, collected employee. You probably don't want this person needed you are as strong as Harold.

The next time you watch animal programs or movies on TV, watch the hunting scenes. They always show one or two scenes where the lion or the cheetah fails. The scenario is the same: the predator sneaks closer and closer to the antelope and… misses. He straightaway for rent, right on the spot. When the distance to the prey increases, the hunter stops the pursuit. He will never waste energy on a hopeless cause. He slowly walks away, because this case no longer matters. There are other animals, other antelopes. Similarly, an experienced negotiator does not feel the need, because this case does not matter. In a real economy, there will always be other deals. So for a graduate there will always be another job. Be prepared to forget about this job, this deal. Get her out of your head. Neither strong anxiety nor feeling of need will help you.

Perhaps the most tense situation, where manifestations of need can play a decisive role, is the negotiation of a retail deal. Everything here is based on the golden rule of business, which implies that both parties agree on the statement: "He who pays calls the music." The buyer has the means, and his self-esteem is reinforced by the fact that he buys and consumes as much as he can. In the Western world, we all think of ourselves as buyers. We proudly buy and consume as much as we can. The seller in the negotiations, of course, is a dependent person. Sellers have historically had self-esteem issues. The very term "sales" in many areas is replaced by "customer acquisition", because the "salesman" in the minds of many is a peddler on the street. Moreover, the seller must be willing to give in, compromise, indulge, while the buyer takes everything he can take. After all, the buyer can go to any other place, but the poor seller need this deal.

I first experienced customer benefits as a teenager at the family-run greengrocer's at Stanley's in Washington, Pennsylvania. I was a strong boy and carried out miscellaneous work: helped unload a truck that brought goods from the market, manually filled bags with potatoes, stacked empty tin cans in boxes, packed eggs. One day the owner, Wade Stanley (whom we all called Mr. Wade) honored me with going to the wholesale market with him to buy fruit for a week to sell in the shop. As we drove to Pittsburgh on Highway 19 (it was about midnight), he outlined his plan. I had to play the role of "taster". It was my job to frown and shake my head no matter how the fruit tasted. Mr. Wade especially insisted on the importance of me showing no interest in anything before making a purchase, and if possible after. No fuss, no gag, no yelling about how delicious the apple is, no rushing into a deal, because all of this could rob us of any chance of negotiating the lowest price. Mr. Wade knew this well. I didn't get the point, but I didn't need to. I had only to taste the fruit and frown.

Which I did as we went from counter to counter. I ate several dozen different fruits and frowned all the time, shaking my head. I didn't even notice when it started to get light. Mr. Wade went wild. Several times he pretended to leave the seller until he got the price he wanted. After stocking up, we drove back to Washington. On the way, Mr. Wade explained his negotiation strategy to me in much the same terms that I use now - the concepts of need. My frown and his departure from the salesmen were necessary in order to make them feel the need for us. The longer the process lasted, the more the seller felt a sense of need and always completed the deal on favorable terms for us, the buyers.

The rule is very simple: in negotiations, it is not you who should show interest, but they.

Maybe you've seen James Foley's The Americans or David Marnet's play of the same name. Smartly dressed, calm, self-confident Alec Baldwin's Blake manages a team of land agents, he requires them to make deals at any cost to sell land on the new sites of Glengarry and Glen Ross. Unflappable and self-confident, Blake never misses an opportunity to show his subordinates his Rolex watch and other trappings of success. If they learn to make deals, they will have the same. Blake, the boss, is in need of nothing, but he mercilessly makes his employees feel in need. They literally begin to sweat, trying to make deals and achieve success. The hero of Jack Lemmon fails, he literally goes crazy. The story is written very talentedly, but there is one gap in the plot. The feeling of need that Baldwin's hero so insistently evokes in his subordinates, can not increase the number of sales from these people.

Get them! Do something! Grab them by the throat! Deals, deals, deals! Many unfortunate salesmen were accompanied by such exclamations throughout their service. It's hard to hear this, because such an insistence on a deal betrays interest. The consequences of trying to make a deal at any cost best illustrate the danger that a person in need can face. If they tried to conclude an agreement with you too quickly - and this, for sure, was, you are not a baby in diapers - you subconsciously reacted negatively, right? Nothing can destroy negotiations faster than such a pursuit of a solution, because the other side (buyer, client) immediately sees signs of need, which in itself unsettles and also serves as a warning: the transaction needs to be taken more carefully. That is why agents cannot succeed, because the need for sales is so obvious that it even smells, literally, of sweat.

I stick to a different rule: no deals.

Follow the speech

The speech often shows interest. Hence the rule:

no chatter.

Of course, I'm exaggerating to emphasize that talk and need are intertwined. Many have an insatiable desire to have their voice heard everywhere. You are a smart person, and the desire to tell everyone about it is quite natural. In other words, you need to feel important. Perfect, the more discerning individuals you deal with will think we are happy to feel your importance while we skin you alive.

One of the greatest inventors that ever lived on our planet, Thomas Edison, was a master at negotiating with the help of a colonel, his business partner. One day he made an appointment at the office. Three were present: the colonel, the genius Edison, and a banker who, in the opinion of the colonel, could acquire the latest amazing invention - a ticker tape machine that allows you to transfer quotes from the New York Stock Exchange directly to the office. Thomas Edison gave the most basic presentation ever. He set up the machine and turned it on. Then he stepped aside. The banker was left alone with the apparatus to read the tape and, of course, immediately appreciated the merits of the invention. The colonel asked his opinion. The banker replied: “Quite a decent invention. I'll give you $5,000 for it."

So, Edison immediately decided that the apparatus would speak instead of him at these negotiations. A perfectly reasonable and worthy decision. Hearing the banker's suggestion, he only pursed his lips, demonstrating disagreement, but did not utter a word. “Okay,” the investor responded, “10,000.” Edison refused to say anything here either. The Colonel was also silent. Silence filled the room. Then the investor exclaimed: “Okay, 25 thousand!” Edison's face showed bewilderment, but he said nothing again. The investor said that Edison wanted to rob him. He is willing to pay $100,000 and not a cent more. Edison exchanged glances with the colonel, who nodded approvingly, and, frowning, accepted the offer. The banker laughed, triumphant: "Edison, I was ready to pay 150 thousand!" Edison replied with a smile: "I was ready to give for 10 thousand!"

I love this story! It can be used as an illustration of almost any principle of my system, as will become clear from the following pages. And as proof of the usefulness of keeping your mouth shut, it is simply unmatched. Energetic people are usually prone to non-stop chatter, and this should be especially carefully monitored. They need to be the smartest, or at least look the smartest. There is a surge of adrenaline, need becomes a biochemical fact that causes biochemical dependence.

I repeat: do not show your interest while you are trying to determine what the interests of the other party are.

Edison sat quietly in silence, showing no interest and allowing the banker to feel that he absolutely needed the apparatus. The underlings of Alec Baldwin's character in The Americans would have accomplished much if they hadn't shown interest and talked less when trying to convince potential buyers to buy land. It would be better if they let the beauties of the land speak for themselves. But then there would be no plot.

Do you have friends who do not give anyone a word to insert in a conversation? The imperious manner betrays their need. Verbose greetings on answering machines today prevail. Instead of the usual "Hello, this is ... Leave your message after the tone," the caller should listen to a detailed story about the life of the owner of the phone, scheduled by the minute for the next hour, day or week. You can imagine the messages they leave on other people's answering machines: the longest ones. Do you understand what's going on? Such people need to convince everyone else of their exceptional employment, competence, so that we feel happy if they agree to give us their precious time. But all this is highly inefficient.

End of introductory segment.

Jim Camp

No: The Best Negotiation Strategy

© James R. Camp, 2007

© Edition in Russian, translated into Russian.

LLC "Publishing House "Good Book", 2008


All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.


To my children

Jim and Cynthia, Scott and Meredith

Todd, Brian and Christy


Introduction

The best word in English

The best word in English should be "yes" - "yes". You are giving pleasure to another person. You grant the request. You complete the task, close the deal. Everyone is happy, champagne corks are flying into the ceiling. Accordingly, the word "no" - "no" should be the worst. It irons against the wool. It implies renunciation and intransigence. It terminates negotiations in the heat of the moment. This is a professional killer.

This is how the whole world, built on compromises and assumptions, thinks. In fact, this way of thinking needs to be radically changed. In negotiation, the worst word is yes. It betrays the fear of defeat, the fear of missing out on a deal, forcing you to please your opponent, get ahead of yourself, instantly agree to concessions, strive to get a deal at any cost. The best The word in this situation is "no". That is what you must be ready to pronounce and hear."No" provides freedom and protection.

Take, for example, Bill, a successful sales representative Midwest Widgets, which fulfills orders for Dumont. The companies have been cooperating for seven years. It would seem that nothing portends serious changes. Midwest makes quality devices and sells them at a fair price. However, an almost formal commercial visit to Dumont suddenly takes a menacing turn. Steve, the new purchasing agent, stuns Bill with the following statement: “Sorry, but we decided to change the device supplier. I was fed up with Midwest's overconfidence, so I decided to pick one of your three competitors who have been knocking around our doorstep for years to get a deal."

Like most salespeople, Bill immediately realizes that Dumont is simply trying to manipulate him into a discount. At the same time, he believes that the only remedy in this situation is to immediately give up and compromise. Drop the price - save the business. Bill is doing frantic mental calculations. What is the minimum discount that can save a contract with Dumont? Which maximum discount cost him his job? Almost instinctively, he asks Steve what the price of the device should be in order to maintain a customer relationship. Steve can hardly contain his glee - how simply everything worked out for him: Bill did exactly what they wanted from him. Steve replies, “I appreciate your willingness to get a better deal with us, but I doubt you can do business at any cost. However, if you drop 14 cents from each device, I am ready to put in a good word for you in the committee.

Lose the contract with Dumont! It's like taking it out of your resume folder again and putting the house up for sale. Emotional chaos- too soft characterization of Bill's condition at the moment. Feelings overwhelm him, his heart is ready to jump out of his chest, but he finds the strength to restrain himself and ask for a minute break. Steve agrees and Bill calls Susan, his commercial director. The only way to retain the client big discount, 14 cents per device. Otherwise, Dumont will go to others.

Susan immediately connects and plunges into the pool with her head. Bill's failure is her failure. She takes everything Bill says at face value - the same way Bill treats Steve's words. "Maybe he'll take 12 cents, Bill?" Both suggest that 14 cents is Bill's limit, but he will try to bring that number down a bit. Both have no idea what is really going on at Dumont. They only know that they are in a win-win world: you ask, I give - the deal is done!


I call such negotiations built on fear and compromise. Dumont's Steve manipulates Susan and Bill's fear of failing and losing their contract. He tries quite crudely to manipulate their innate tendency to say "yes" and fear to say "no". This trick is as old as the world, but it works thousands of times a day. I teach and preach a system based on the word “no”, which helps to maintain the status quo in any negotiations. If Steve wants to drop 14 cents on each device, Bill's "no" will simply ensure a safe position. It gives Bill the opportunity to decide on a full or partial discount or refuse it based not on momentary emotions, but on the analysis of facts obtained in the process of successful work.

The book Getting to Yes and a host of similar publications that promote concessions endorse the subconscious drive to say yes. At the very least, this desire pulls the ground from under your feet, creates vague assumptions and fear, while the willingness to say "no" liberates and protects you, removing emotional stress in the negotiations. It provides a solid framework within which the most effective course can be conducted.

To see how this happens, let's look at Bill's situation again. If Bill uses the "no" principle, Steve's stunning statement about 14 cents will not be able to unsettle him, since Bill is not reacting emotionally, but systemically. By carefully considering the goals and objectives of Midwest Widgets, Bill will realize that his company's management is unlikely to support a proposal for a significant concession just because someone asked for it. Then, armed with this idea, Bill will make Steve and Dumont turn around.

Bill asks Steve several questions, each of which is aimed at creating in Steve representation about what changing supplier really means for Dumont. What did we do wrong, Steve? How many times has Dumont experienced failures of Midwest devices on the line? Is Dumont willing to take the risk of accepting a new untested device? Bill asks these questions in a certain way, listens carefully to the answers, makes notes in a notebook. Of course, he knows the real answers: how often Midwest devices fail, the degree of risk Dumont can take, the quality and price of competitors' devices.

In other words, Bill does not agree to a large price discount, but at the same time puts the negotiations on a solid footing. Like many businessmen, he is afraid that, having heard a refusal, Steve will simply slam the door, but, believe me, he will not. After all, Midwest remained Dumont's supplier for seven years, with good reason. Bill and Midwest may or may not make price concessions as a result. In any case, the decision will not be based on emotions and assumptions, but on verified information and Steve's new understanding of all the real consequences of switching suppliers for his company. It is quite possible that such an understanding will provide not a discount, but promotion prices. I have repeatedly witnessed such metamorphoses.

Thus, the "no" principle guides Bill's actions and protects him. The same will happen to you. At every step - in your personal life and at work - you make all kinds of agreements. This means that you conduct negotiations. And any agreements affect your life no less than anything else. In fact, they control it. Whole life. But who among us participates in such negotiations, fully aware of what he is doing? Almost nobody. Often, such a frivolous attitude gets away with it, or so it seems to us. Sometimes we are not even aware that we are in the process of negotiating, let alone preparing for them. Until it's too late. How many times have you panicked after making a rash decision or entering into an agreement that you didn’t even think about and the consequences of which you can’t assess? Show me a person who would be able to remain calm when negotiations get completely out of hand: what's going on here, what should I do now?

Take, for example, my friend Ralph. He is a real estate developer who has invested his entire fortune in a project in California. In this region, the public attaches great importance to the protection environment. Ralph had problems with the local council, which was very difficult to resist, and it seemed to Ralph that it was impossible. As we enjoyed cocktails and the sunset on the veranda, he vented his fears at me about a group of people trying to put him out of business.

© James R. Camp, 2007

© Edition in Russian, translated into Russian.

LLC "Publishing House "Good Book", 2008

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

To my children

Jim and Cynthia, Scott and Meredith

Todd, Brian and Christy

Introduction
The best word in English

The best word in English should be "yes" - "yes". You are giving pleasure to another person. You grant the request. You complete the task, close the deal. Everyone is happy, champagne corks are flying into the ceiling. Accordingly, the word "no" - "no" should be the worst. It irons against the wool. It implies renunciation and intransigence. It terminates negotiations in the heat of the moment. This is a professional killer.

This is how the whole world, built on compromises and assumptions, thinks. In fact, this way of thinking needs to be radically changed. In negotiation, the worst word is yes. It betrays the fear of defeat, the fear of missing out on a deal, forcing you to please your opponent, get ahead of yourself, instantly agree to concessions, strive to get a deal at any cost. The best The word in this situation is "no". That is what you must be ready to pronounce and hear."No" provides freedom and protection.

Take, for example, Bill, a successful sales rep for Midwest Widgets who fills orders for Dumont. The companies have been cooperating for seven years. It would seem that nothing portends serious changes. Midwest makes quality devices and sells them at a fair price. However, an almost formal commercial visit to Dumont suddenly takes a menacing turn. Steve, the new purchasing agent, stuns Bill with the following statement: “Sorry, but we decided to change the device supplier. I was fed up with Midwest's overconfidence, so I decided to pick one of your three competitors who have been knocking around our doorstep for years to get a deal."

Like most salespeople, Bill immediately realizes that Dumont is simply trying to manipulate him into a discount. At the same time, he believes that the only remedy in this situation is to immediately give up and compromise. Drop the price - save the business. Bill is doing frantic mental calculations. What is the minimum discount that can save a contract with Dumont? What is the maximum discount that can cost him a job? Almost instinctively, he asks Steve what the price of the device should be in order to maintain a customer relationship. Steve can hardly contain his glee - how simply everything worked out for him: Bill did exactly what they wanted from him. Steve replies, “I appreciate your willingness to get a better deal with us, but I doubt you can do business at any cost. However, if you drop 14 cents from each device, I am ready to put in a good word for you in the committee.

Lose the contract with Dumont! It's like taking it out of your resume folder again and putting the house up for sale. Emotional chaos- too soft characterization of Bill's condition at the moment. Feelings overwhelm him, his heart is ready to jump out of his chest, but he finds the strength to restrain himself and ask for a minute break. Steve agrees and Bill calls Susan, his sales manager. The only way to keep a customer is to give a big discount, 14 cents per device. Otherwise, Dumont will go to others.

Susan immediately connects and plunges into the pool with her head. Bill's failure is her failure. She takes everything Bill says at face value - the same way Bill treats Steve's words. "Maybe he'll take 12 cents, Bill?" Both suggest that 14 cents is Bill's limit, but he will try to bring that number down a bit. Both have no idea what is really going on at Dumont. They only know that they are in a win-win world: you ask, I give - the deal is done!

I call such negotiations built on fear and compromise. Dumont's Steve manipulates Susan and Bill's fear of failing and losing their contract. He tries quite crudely to manipulate their innate tendency to say "yes" and fear to say "no". This trick is as old as the world, but it works thousands of times a day. I teach and preach a system based on the word “no”, which helps to maintain the status quo in any negotiations. If Steve wants to drop 14 cents on each device, Bill's "no" will simply ensure a safe position. It gives Bill the opportunity to decide on a full or partial discount or refuse it based not on momentary emotions, but on the analysis of facts obtained in the process of successful work.

The book Getting to Yes and a host of similar publications that promote concessions endorse the subconscious drive to say yes. This desire, at the very least, knocks the ground out from under your feet, gives rise to vague assumptions and fear, while the willingness to say “no” liberates and protects you, removing the emotional tension in the negotiations. It provides a solid framework within which the most effective course can be conducted.

To see how this happens, let's look at Bill's situation again. If Bill uses the "no" principle, Steve's stunning statement about 14 cents will not be able to unsettle him, since Bill is not reacting emotionally, but systemically. By carefully considering the goals and objectives of Midwest Widgets, Bill will realize that his company's management is unlikely to support a proposal for a significant concession just because someone asked for it. Then, armed with this idea, Bill will make Steve and Dumont turn around.

Bill asks Steve several questions, each of which is aimed at creating in Steve representation about what changing supplier really means for Dumont. What did we do wrong, Steve? How many times has Dumont experienced failures of Midwest devices on the line? Is Dumont willing to take the risk of accepting a new untested device? Bill asks these questions in a certain way, listens carefully to the answers, makes notes in a notebook. Of course, he knows the real answers: how often Midwest devices fail, the degree of risk Dumont can take, the quality and price of competitors' devices.

In other words, Bill does not agree to a large price discount, but at the same time puts the negotiations on a solid footing. Like many businessmen, he is afraid that, having heard a refusal, Steve will simply slam the door, but, believe me, he will not. After all, Midwest remained Dumont's supplier for seven years, with good reason. Bill and Midwest may or may not make price concessions as a result. In any case, the decision will not be based on emotions and assumptions, but on verified information and Steve's new understanding of all the real consequences of switching suppliers for his company. It is quite possible that such an understanding will provide not a discount, but promotion prices. I have repeatedly witnessed such metamorphoses.

Thus, the "no" principle guides Bill's actions and protects him. The same will happen to you. At every step - in your personal life and at work - you make all kinds of agreements. This means that you conduct negotiations. And any agreements affect your life no less than anything else. In fact, they control it. Whole life. But who among us participates in such negotiations, fully aware of what he is doing? Almost nobody. Often, such a frivolous attitude gets away with it, or so it seems to us. Sometimes we are not even aware that we are in the process of negotiating, let alone preparing for them. Until it's too late. How many times have you panicked after making a rash decision or entering into an agreement that you didn’t even think about and the consequences of which you can’t assess? Show me a person who would be able to remain calm when negotiations get completely out of hand: what's going on here, what should I do now?

Take, for example, my friend Ralph. He is a real estate developer who has invested his entire fortune in a project in California. In this region, the public attaches great importance to the protection of the environment. Ralph had problems with the local council, which was very difficult to resist, and it seemed to Ralph that it was impossible. As we enjoyed cocktails and the sunset on the veranda, he vented his fears at me about a group of people trying to put him out of business.

“So what do they want from you, Ralph?”

- Ruin my life. They want to drive me out of the valley.

No, really, what do they want?

What do you mean, Jim?

- Negotiation. What do they want to achieve as a result? What drives them?

My friend silently digested the question, suddenly realizing that he had no the slightest idea about what they want. He began to put forward ridiculous assumptions one after another. I listened to him for a few minutes, then went into the house and brought out a sheet of paper. We started drawing up a plan of action. What were the long-term objectives, current goals and commitments of Ralph's project? What problems need to be taken into account and overcome? What hopes could the local community place on this development? What were their demands?

Ralph knew what he personally needed from these negotiations. But he had no idea what they wanted they- local council. He had no blueprint for getting out of a difficult situation, no idea to guide his work, no plan to make and secure his decisions. He never saw negotiations as a series of decisions. On the contrary, the whole process was driven by his emotions - fears and some fear. Ralph's head was overloaded with unfounded assumptions. His "crystal ball" was clouded, which was worse than no ball. Not surprisingly, he immediately became confused and thought with horror about the next meeting with this council.

Ralph realized that he was able to negotiate on the basis of decisions made and use the word "no" to his advantage, and he conducted them with a great deal of self-confidence and skill. As a result, its development was completed on time to everyone's satisfaction. The purpose of my book is to present my concept, the same one that I demonstrated to Ralph 20 years ago. And I still continue to share my findings with clients. Negotiations are always negotiations, regardless of their subject:

The conclusion of a billion-dollar deal that decides the fate of the business;

Submission to the boss of an application for a promotion;

University admission;

Resolving a dispute with a pool contractor (or homeowner);

Trying to put the baby to sleep;

Getting summer seasonal work or first employment;

child's behavior at school.

My system allows you to discuss any issues. No more unreasonable hopes and hopes. No fear or panic. You will always understand what your true position is and what to do next. No guesswork or unnecessary concessions. No pointless answers and suggestions that you immediately regret. You will learn to look at any conflict or discussion with another person as a negotiation that you can manage through planning and informed decision making.

Chaos not should be neither at work nor at home. There is a more comfortable way of being. My "no" system is a set of clear principles and practical steps that you will follow step by step. It is intended for parents and children, entrepreneurs, professional corporate negotiators, business leaders, teachers, realtors, bankers, politicians, diplomats, carpenters.

I want you to look at negotiations from a different perspective - a fundamentally different one - and see this process not as a chore or a nightmare, but as a task that you will enjoy the process of solving. The “no” system allows you to control the result in many ways. You will no longer be amazed: What is going on, what should I do now? This will forever remain in the past. Now you are safe. Your rear is protected.

* * *

To understand the power of the word “no,” you must understand that “no” overrides the “give-in-assume” paradigm that dominates negotiation processes today. If this made you wince (after all, who doesn't want to be on the "road to compliance"), read at least a few more pages. The "no" system is not a way of total denial. It gives rise to a completely different negotiation paradigm that gives your life and work a sense of common sense, brings an intellectual component.

If you're a fan of forced compromise and endless guessing, many business people (myself included) will be happy to invite you to lunch every day. All of them have strategies developed at the highest level, sole purpose which is the use of the weak points of your thinking, i.e. constant readiness for compromise and assumptions. I want you to know that with these tactics and strategies, they achieve their goal without difficulty, mincing their negotiating opponents and their businesses daily. Think of Steve and Dumont. I want to get you to switch roles with these people. The "no" system will give you a decisive advantage over Steve's tactics and any other negotiation strategies. In the book, I give real stories of my clients who have used my system and achieved tremendous success. You will learn first-hand about the colossal daily effect of the word “no”.

For a change, I sometimes explain my “no” system by using the example of my granddaughter, Lily, negotiating with her mother every night about going to bed. I witnessed how a three-year-old girl said “no” to her mother five times in a row and as a result got what she wanted. Of course, Lily was not afraid to say or hear "no", she just continued the negotiation process. Persistence is very important to the success of denial.

If you have children, you know that every child hears "no" at the beginning. but not in end of negotiations. An adult is trained and educated to be afraid of this word, therefore, working with clients and audiences, I have to gradually and carefully prove that in practice a polite “no”, spoken, calmly listened to, and also provocative, is of great importance in the negotiation process. In fact, if you encourage the other side to say “no”, you can destroy any barriers and establish a mutually beneficial dialogue. By allowing someone to say “no”, we let off steam, reduce the intensity of emotions. But since we are talking about children, let's assume that you are a parent and you were called to school to report your child's lack of self-control and respect for elders. Thunderclouds are gathering, the conversation promises to be heavy. You have already spoken to Johnny and come up with a plan to solve the problem and help the boy get on the right track. You came to school hoping for the teacher's sympathy. This negotiation is simple and straight forward, so you need to start the conversation by saying that you have your own plan of action, but you do not mind if the teacher does not agree with some of your considerations. You want the teacher to be able to say “no” easily. The best thing to do at the first opportunity is to explain: “Mrs. Jones, I have noticed that Johnny has become restless, so I have made a plan to overcome the problems that his behavior may create. If you disagree with me on something, I will be happy to hear your objections and ideas. So I'm of the opinion that…”

This explicit request to object and disagree allows the teacher to relax, feel more natural and, if necessary, present you with a real picture of what is happening. But you must make such a suggestion consciously and informally, as it is likely that you do not know at all what is really going on in school.

If you are a teacher, you can start the conversation like this: “Mr. Smith, I don't know you very well personally. But I know Johnny. He is a good boy, but some of his actions make me puzzled. May I ask a few questions about this? Please correct me if I'm wrong." This is a somewhat more veiled invitation to say no, but the teacher should also be honest about it. For a parent and a teacher, a simple “no” can be a liberation. Barriers immediately disappear, allowing you to join forces to solve the problem.

But back to business. Let's say your company is bogged down in a bonded contract that you've been dragged into by a negotiator who hasn't worked for you in a while. Under this contract, you lose money on every delivery. Something has to be sacrificed. A likely strategy is to call the “top” of the partner company and frankly say: “We made a huge mistake in those negotiations. You probably already knew that then. I understood only now. We cannot continue to work under the same conditions. How can we resolve this situation? When can we meet to discuss everything?”

Many will be embarrassed to make such a call, some will be amazed at the idea, but in fact this is the safest thing to do in a situation like this. This is just an honest statement of fact. We can't go any further down the disastrous road our ex-employee led us to, but we can fix the problem. Let's discuss this. And you know what? The partner company will be happy to meet you halfway. Why? The most effective solution on their part is to keep you as a partner.

I emphasize the possibilities of the word “no” to draw your attention to the fact that effective negotiations are, first of all, making effective decisions."No" defines a new way of thinking that generates such decisions in any negotiation. Armed with this principle, you'll be prepared to both talk to your teacher and discuss the supplies you're losing money on.

I want you to understand right away that “no” has nothing to do with intransigence. Quite the opposite. Everything is based on openness and honesty. An invitation to say “no” demonstrates to those sitting at the negotiating table that there are adults here who can think rationally. Let's slow down the process a bit. Let's get rid of the fear of failure. "No" allows all participants to forget about the need to always be right, the smartest, the strongest, the most determined. This word protects you from hasty and, even worse, bad decisions made out of a desire to feel safe and like the other side. The word "no" tells everyone involved: let's leave the way of thinking based on consent; relax, I'm not going to rob you, and you're not going to rob me.

If you find it hard to believe that the “no” system breaks down barriers and lowers your emotional level, do me a favor and check it out for yourself. Lay down this page and don't read any further until you get or create the opportunity to put "no" to the simplest test - at home, in the office, at school, in church, anywhere. Someone will ask you to do something or agree on something, or you yourself will ask someone to do something or agree to something with you. Create the most innocuous everyday situation, for example, in a behind-the-scenes conversation with a colleague: “Oh, Jane, I can’t do it, tell me…” or “Jane, if you don’t like my proposal, just say no. I will not be offended. Truth. I can handle myself. Just say no."

you immediately feel result. Such a polite "no" cannot offend a person. On the contrary, it relieves embarrassment. It suggests adult behavior (even on the part of children). It opens the way to effective solutions. After so many years of teaching clients all sorts of negotiation strategies, I never cease to be amazed at the almost magical power of the word “no.” The word you've been taught to fear can change your negotiation practice forever.

"No" requires a single and unbreakable purpose and mission. This is a common idea in the business world, but in the “no” system, purpose and mission take on a different meaning. They are not about you, but about him- the other side.

In addition, the no system makes you aware of the dangers of feeling needy. In other words, you not you need this bargain, because the thought of having to get something invariably leads to a wasted concession. “No” can change you overnight for the better as a negotiator.

What do you like more: effective decisions or seething emotions, the right questions or vague assumptions and expectations, focusing on controlled actions or chasing unpredictable results?

Getting what you want is as easy as saying no.

* * *

Long before becoming a professional negotiation coach, I was a pilot, first military, then civilian. It was this profession that taught me how to use systems approach. Especially when it comes to the implementation and control of complex actions. Without a system, a safe flight is impossible - this is an irrefutable fact. Surely you have ever looked into the cockpit of a civilian aircraft (and who hasn't?) and seen that the pilots are consulting the mandatory checklists printed on plastic cards. This is how they control and maintain the system. (If you ever get on board a private jet and the pilot before starting the engines not pass the checklist, you can immediately unload. Seriously. It is better to move on your own two.)

A few years ago, a Cleveland lawyer, self-taught negotiation strategy and tactics, read my first book, Start with No, and sent it to his daughter, a student at Notre Dame Law School. She liked the book and signed up for one of my programs, where our coach worked with her to argue her position and prepare her to negotiate for an internship at the White House. A key component of preparation was a checklist for the all-important interview in Washington. On the decisive day, she arrived at the site, used the control plan, and immediately got the job. I wasn't surprised. This and hundreds of similar stories explain why I still use checklists just as carefully as when he was a pilot.

Negotiations are a complex process. They have a lot of events going on. With checklists, the situation can be managed. They provide many benefits, such as freedom of thought. I will use such sheets in my book and teach you how to use them in negotiations. AT last chapter I will introduce you to the short form checklist and journal that my clients use to guide their negotiation process around the world.

Another key element of this book is practical tests, test drives of the basic principles and actions. I have already suggested that you try the word "no" in the simplest situation of informal communication in the office. This was the practical test. There will be others - quick elementary methods of action in fairly safe situations. I am not afraid that you will become a victim of a negotiating disaster. You might get a dent in your bumper, but you'll also realize that the word "no" works for you in the same way as certain types of questions and specific plans of action.

As a result, I will be able not only to change your attitude towards the negotiation process (no to the word “yes”, yes to the word “no”), but I will equip you with technology, methods and specific tools for the practical implementation of everything that you have learned. This system is effective for everyone: students, businessmen, professionals, parents, children, homeowners, landowners, tenants, employees, employers, debtors, creditors, buyers, sellers - for everyone who negotiates on any issues.

© James R. Camp, 2007

© Edition in Russian, translated into Russian.

LLC "Publishing House "Good Book", 2008

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

© The electronic version of the book was prepared by LitRes ( www.liters.ru)

To my children

Jim and Cynthia, Scott and Meredith

Todd, Brian and Christy

Introduction
The best word in English

The best word in English should be "yes" - "yes". You are giving pleasure to another person. You grant the request. You complete the task, close the deal. Everyone is happy, champagne corks are flying into the ceiling. Accordingly, the word "no" - "no" should be the worst. It irons against the wool. It implies renunciation and intransigence. It terminates negotiations in the heat of the moment. This is a professional killer.

This is how the whole world, built on compromises and assumptions, thinks. In fact, this way of thinking needs to be radically changed. In negotiation, the worst word is yes. It betrays the fear of defeat, the fear of missing out on a deal, forcing you to please your opponent, get ahead of yourself, instantly agree to concessions, strive to get a deal at any cost. The best The word in this situation is "no". That is what you must be ready to pronounce and hear."No" provides freedom and protection.

Take, for example, Bill, a successful sales rep for Midwest Widgets who fills orders for Dumont. The companies have been cooperating for seven years. It would seem that nothing portends serious changes. Midwest makes quality devices and sells them at a fair price. However, an almost formal commercial visit to Dumont suddenly takes a menacing turn. Steve, the new purchasing agent, stuns Bill with the following statement: “Sorry, but we decided to change the device supplier. I was fed up with Midwest's overconfidence, so I decided to pick one of your three competitors who have been knocking around our doorstep for years to get a deal."

Like most salespeople, Bill immediately realizes that Dumont is simply trying to manipulate him into a discount. At the same time, he believes that the only remedy in this situation is to immediately give up and compromise. Drop the price - save the business. Bill is doing frantic mental calculations. What is the minimum discount that can save a contract with Dumont? What is the maximum discount that can cost him a job? Almost instinctively, he asks Steve what the price of the device should be in order to maintain a customer relationship. Steve can hardly contain his glee - how simply everything worked out for him: Bill did exactly what they wanted from him. Steve replies, “I appreciate your willingness to get a better deal with us, but I doubt you can do business at any cost. However, if you drop 14 cents from each device, I am ready to put in a good word for you in the committee.

Lose the contract with Dumont! It's like taking it out of your resume folder again and putting the house up for sale. Emotional chaos- too soft characterization of Bill's condition at the moment. Feelings overwhelm him, his heart is ready to jump out of his chest, but he finds the strength to restrain himself and ask for a minute break. Steve agrees and Bill calls Susan, his sales manager. The only way to keep a customer is to give a big discount, 14 cents per device. Otherwise, Dumont will go to others.

Susan immediately connects and plunges into the pool with her head. Bill's failure is her failure. She takes everything Bill says at face value - the same way Bill treats Steve's words. "Maybe he'll take 12 cents, Bill?" Both suggest that 14 cents is Bill's limit, but he will try to bring that number down a bit. Both have no idea what is really going on at Dumont. They only know that they are in a win-win world: you ask, I give - the deal is done!

I call such negotiations built on fear and compromise. Dumont's Steve manipulates Susan and Bill's fear of failing and losing their contract. He tries quite crudely to manipulate their innate tendency to say "yes" and fear to say "no". This trick is as old as the world, but it works thousands of times a day. I teach and preach a system based on the word “no”, which helps to maintain the status quo in any negotiations. If Steve wants to drop 14 cents on each device, Bill's "no" will simply ensure a safe position. It gives Bill the opportunity to decide on a full or partial discount or refuse it based not on momentary emotions, but on the analysis of facts obtained in the process of successful work.

The book Getting to Yes and a host of similar publications that promote concessions endorse the subconscious drive to say yes. This desire, at the very least, knocks the ground out from under your feet, gives rise to vague assumptions and fear, while the willingness to say “no” liberates and protects you, removing the emotional tension in the negotiations. It provides a solid framework within which the most effective course can be conducted.

To see how this happens, let's look at Bill's situation again. If Bill uses the "no" principle, Steve's stunning statement about 14 cents will not be able to unsettle him, since Bill is not reacting emotionally, but systemically. By carefully considering the goals and objectives of Midwest Widgets, Bill will realize that his company's management is unlikely to support a proposal for a significant concession just because someone asked for it. Then, armed with this idea, Bill will make Steve and Dumont turn around.

Bill asks Steve several questions, each of which is aimed at creating in Steve representation about what changing supplier really means for Dumont. What did we do wrong, Steve? How many times has Dumont experienced failures of Midwest devices on the line? Is Dumont willing to take the risk of accepting a new untested device? Bill asks these questions in a certain way, listens carefully to the answers, makes notes in a notebook. Of course, he knows the real answers: how often Midwest devices fail, the degree of risk Dumont can take, the quality and price of competitors' devices.

In other words, Bill does not agree to a large price discount, but at the same time puts the negotiations on a solid footing. Like many businessmen, he is afraid that, having heard a refusal, Steve will simply slam the door, but, believe me, he will not. After all, Midwest remained Dumont's supplier for seven years, with good reason. Bill and Midwest may or may not make price concessions as a result. In any case, the decision will not be based on emotions and assumptions, but on verified information and Steve's new understanding of all the real consequences of switching suppliers for his company. It is quite possible that such an understanding will provide not a discount, but promotion prices. I have repeatedly witnessed such metamorphoses.

Thus, the "no" principle guides Bill's actions and protects him. The same will happen to you. At every step - in your personal life and at work - you make all kinds of agreements. This means that you conduct negotiations. And any agreements affect your life no less than anything else. In fact, they control it. Whole life. But who among us participates in such negotiations, fully aware of what he is doing? Almost nobody. Often, such a frivolous attitude gets away with it, or so it seems to us. Sometimes we are not even aware that we are in the process of negotiating, let alone preparing for them. Until it's too late. How many times have you panicked after making a rash decision or entering into an agreement that you didn’t even think about and the consequences of which you can’t assess? Show me a person who would be able to remain calm when negotiations get completely out of hand: what's going on here, what should I do now?

Take, for example, my friend Ralph. He is a real estate developer who has invested his entire fortune in a project in California. In this region, the public attaches great importance to the protection of the environment. Ralph had problems with the local council, which was very difficult to resist, and it seemed to Ralph that it was impossible. As we enjoyed cocktails and the sunset on the veranda, he vented his fears at me about a group of people trying to put him out of business.

“So what do they want from you, Ralph?”

- Ruin my life. They want to drive me out of the valley.

No, really, what do they want?

What do you mean, Jim?

- Negotiation. What do they want to achieve as a result? What drives them?

My friend silently digested the question, suddenly realizing that he had no idea what they wanted. He began to put forward ridiculous assumptions one after another. I listened to him for a few minutes, then went into the house and brought out a sheet of paper. We started drawing up a plan of action. What were the long-term objectives, current goals and commitments of Ralph's project? What problems need to be taken into account and overcome? What hopes could the local community place on this development? What were their demands?

Ralph knew what he personally needed from these negotiations. But he had no idea what they wanted they- local council. He had no blueprint for getting out of a difficult situation, no idea to guide his work, no plan to make and secure his decisions. He never saw negotiations as a series of decisions. On the contrary, the whole process was driven by his emotions - fears and some fear. Ralph's head was overloaded with unfounded assumptions. His "crystal ball" was clouded, which was worse than no ball. Not surprisingly, he immediately became confused and thought with horror about the next meeting with this council.

Ralph realized that he was able to negotiate on the basis of decisions made and use the word "no" to his advantage, and he conducted them with a great deal of self-confidence and skill. As a result, its development was completed on time to everyone's satisfaction. The purpose of my book is to present my concept, the same one that I demonstrated to Ralph 20 years ago. And I still continue to share my findings with clients. Negotiations are always negotiations, regardless of their subject:

The conclusion of a billion-dollar deal that decides the fate of the business;

Submission to the boss of an application for a promotion;

University admission;

Resolving a dispute with a pool contractor (or homeowner);

Trying to put the baby to sleep;

Getting a summer seasonal job or first employment;

child's behavior at school.

My system allows you to discuss any issues. No more unreasonable hopes and hopes. No fear or panic. You will always understand what your true position is and what to do next. No guesswork or unnecessary concessions. No pointless answers and suggestions that you immediately regret. You will learn to look at any conflict or discussion with another person as a negotiation that you can manage through planning and informed decision making.

Chaos not should be neither at work nor at home. There is a more comfortable way of being. My "no" system is a set of clear principles and practical steps that you will follow step by step. It is intended for parents and children, entrepreneurs, professional corporate negotiators, business leaders, teachers, realtors, bankers, politicians, diplomats, carpenters.




Top